keep fuckin walkin you postman piece of shit
I wish I could explain to someone how I felt right now
I’ve also modified my parents’ memories so that they’re convinced they’re really called Wendell and Monica Wilkins, and that their life’s ambition is to move to Australia, which they have now done. That’s to make it more difficult for Voldemort to track them down and interrogate them about me – or you, because unfortunately, I’ve told them quite a bit about you. Assuming I survive our hunt for the Horcruxes, I’ll find Mum and Dad and lift the enchantment. If I don’t – well, I think I’ve cast a good enough charm to keep them safe and happy. Wendell and Monica Wilkins don’t know that they’ve got a daughter, you see.
if you didnt think this was the saddest shit youve ever seen get out of my face
I just died.
why do people get so mad about puns? they’re literally the nicest kind of humor. they make nobody feel bad. it’s just clever. sometimes it’s original. learn to like puns. don’t let society run your life
Some may not admit it, but 99% of the anger people experience after a good pun comes from the fact that they didn’t think of it first.
im so miserable but i laugh at everything
I have fruit polos and lollypops be jealous.
omg do many people not know what fruit polos are? they are heaven
In America, we call them lifesavers. They can be chewy or hard candy.
polos aren’t chewy and they also come in mint.
this week on: britan thinks its special
bae caught me slippin
Improvisation: Build a Bear shoes come in handy for a wet garden and a broken leg
do you ever just get in a mood where you really fucking love cereal
if someone has a fucking phobia of something don’t be an asshole and play with their fear for your own amusement
YOU PUT YOUR FUCKING FEET ON ME